An awesome, but not-so-awesome 2nd birthday party

 

A LITTLE BIRTHDAY PLANNING BACKGROUND -

Originally, we were planning to have Madelyn’s party on Saturday, April 30, but several people, including my brother, ended up being out of town and I could have used the extra planning time anyway.  We switched the date to May 7, but we also cancelled it for several reasons: I hadn’t received proofs for the party decor I had ordered, at least half of the kids/families couldn’t attend that day and the last straw was that my mom ended up having to work.  We gotta have grandma there!  We couldn’t reschedule for the following weekend because we had a couple other parties to go to and then it would be too close to my due date of May 20.  We decided to postpone her party until June 5 and it would end up being a meet & greet baby, as well.  Sunday the 5th was a hit for everyone.  We received so many RSVP’s to attend and it was great!  I think we had 40 people and 14 kids planning to come.

I chose an owl theme for the party: LOOK WHOOO IS TURNING TWO!  I decided on the owl theme for her 2nd birthday when I was planning her first birthday party.  I was super excited as everything started coming together.  My mom was a HUGE help with everything (money, errands, helping watch kids, cooking, decorations, cleaning, etc.).  We (us Carmichaels) work better under pressure, so, of course, I was baking cookies at midnight the night before and making birthday hats at 7am the day of the party.  We spent a pretty penny on the party because we decided this year we would provide lunch for the guests, not just snacks and it’s Madelyn’s last birthday as an only child.  Now that I have two May babies, that will not be the case in the future (or at least nothing too expensive). I decided to order the decorations online because I knew I wouldn’t have the time or energy, being 9 months preggie, to run all the errands, pick out stuff, construct everything and I would have spent more money on my own than ordering through Etsy. 

 

PARTY TIME! -

We are jammin’ at 9:00am for an 11:30am party.  I’m extremely excited because we are going to have such a great turn out, Alayna seems to be having a good day, the decorations look awesome and Madi FINALLY gets to have her 2nd b-day party (a month over-due).

I go into Madi’s room to get her at 9:30 and she is covered in a RASH from head to toe!! Are you kidding me?!?! What the heck is this? Allergic reaction to something? Measles? Chicken Pox? There are 365 days in a year and THIS is the day she wakes up with a rash!?!?

So, we contemplated – only for a second – calling everyone to cancel the party, but after all the time, money and effort spent, we were having the party regardless.  If Madelyn had something contagious, we would quarantine her, keeping her upstairs (poor thing).  I spoke to a couple nurses at our insurance and our pediatrician and both said it is a classic of a non-allergic amoxicillin rash.  This rash shows up on day 7-8 of taking the antibiotic.  She was on amoxicillin for a slight ear infection since May 26.  On May 26 she also got her MMR shot.  Doctor Hyun said it could have been an MMR rash.  So, who knows if it was from MMR or amoxicillin (or both).  Dr. Hyun said have your party, don’t worry about it, she is not contagious at all.  Since we were having 40+ people over and so many kids, we thought it would be a good idea to at least have a doc SEE her to verify that she has nothing contagious.  We would not feel comfortable telling our guests that our pediatrician said she was fine, but never actually SAW her.

 

Jose took her to urgent care.  She, unfortunately, wasn’t seen by a pediatrician, but at least it was a doctor, right?  The doctor said it was an allergic reaction to amoxicillin and gave her Benadryl and PrednisoLONE (a steroid).  Madi and Jose showed up at the party 2 hours late.

Now, if it wasn’t enough that a large handful of people were leaving (round one nappers) when the birthday girl arrived and that my daughter looked ridiculous with her elaborate polka dots, but a WILD animal-like child was about to emerge.  Madi was finishing some food in her high chair and I took a quick photo of her and she started screaming “no more pictures, no more pictures!”

Then, she wouldn’t let anyone (Jose, my mom or myself) get her out of her chair.  She started banging her head violently against the back of the chair. She then aggressively took a BITE of her tutu and spit out a chunk blue sparkly tule.  Jose struggled to get her out of the chair without dropping her and got her to the carpet, where she threw herself on the floor so fiercely. It was as if she had the angry energy of 5 children put together. Madi was running away from everyone and would not let anyone touch her or approach her.  It was on the tile by the front door where she deliberately head slammed her forehead into the tile.  That’s when I knew this was not an ordinary tantrum.  This was something worse.  All of our friends & family there either watching or listening to this, which make it that much more intense and uncomfortable.  I asked Jose to do the best he could at getting her upstairs safely.  We were upstairs with her for maybe 15 minutes, which what felt like hours.  She was screaming, crying & running away from anyone that was close to her or approached her.  She was completely non-responsive to anyone or anything. There was nothing we could do or say to help or to get her to respond.  She continued to try to inflict pain on herself and was so out of control that is was likely she would hurt herself somehow.  After 20 minutes of this I threw in the towel.  I couldn’t take it anymore and it was only getting worse.  I called the nurse line and they recommended taking her to ER to get a tranquilizer.  We ran out the door and frantically put her in the car seat, which was like putting her in a straight jacket.  The entire ride to the hospital she continued to be non-responsive and was hysterically kicking, screaming, wailing, hyperventilating.  She did not react when I spoke to her and wouldn’t let me touch her.  So, I sat next to her in the back seat and sobbed the whole way there.  I can only imagine how hard it was for Jose to drive us to the hospital like that.  About 2 minutes before arriving to ER, Madelyn fell asleep in the car! We parked and just sat there for a good 15 minutes or so to collect or thoughts and calm our hearts.  We prayed together and sat then sat in silence.  Finally, we headed back home and successfully put her down to nap in her crib.

The only way I can really describe what we witnessed was that Madi acted like she was possessed.  It was the scariest thing and so traumatizing.  Thank God that she is okay and that she didn’t get hurt.  I also thank God that Alayna was an angel during this entire episode, so it was that much better that we didn’t have another child screaming for food that I could not provide in that moment.  I had none/no milk pumped for the little one and, obviously, couldn’t have taken the time to nurse her.  Alayna had a fantastic nap day!

I’m not sure who was still there when Madi started to freak out or how long people stayed and listened/watched it unfold.  It was such an intense situation.

I’m sure that her behavior was a reaction to the Benadryl and/or steroid that the doctor gave her.  We will never know for sure what made her act that way, but will forever be cautious of both medications in the future.  I have read and heard that one rare side effect of Benadryl is hallucinations.  Just makes you think.

Madi never had a fever and never acted sick. That night she enjoyed some cake and opened a couple of gifts. 

the cutest things

Madelyn never ceases to say the cutest things. I just love her so much.

The other day, I was trying to find something to wear. I was standing in my closet starring at my clothes, as if something new was going to jump out and grab me. Madi walks in and looks up at my boring wardrobe, shrugs her shoulders and says, “hmmmm”. She repeated that several times. I didn’t prompt her to do that or do it myself, which means I must do that a lot and she is just mocking me. It was adorable.

Still trying to contemplate what to wear, I put on a dress and walked around a bit with it on. Madelyn comes up to me and grabs the edge of the dress and sort of tosses it in the air, lifting it up slightly and said, “Oh, cute!!”. Haha! I think she got that from me when I put something cute on her, I probably said, “Oh cute!”.  The next day she had on a green shirt with a little ruffle on the bottom and kept grabbing it and saying how cute it was.

That same night Jose was doing some push-ups.  Madi would assist him by pushing down on his shoulder every time he went down. THEN she starts to copy Jose and GRUNT like she is working out.  Jose and I started laughing so hard and Jose said “that’s too much!!" It was so funny he could not continue for several minutes or even concentrate. Once he was able to stop laughing, he continued and Madi started doing push-ups right next to him and, of course, grunting to make it more dramatic. She did so many push-ups she broke a sweat!

never judge a book by its cover

So…there’s this man we saw at In-N-Out today…Wait! Let me start off with our day first.

My friend, Yong, and I attended a Photography Workshop today, which was a great experience and we gained a lot of knowledge about photography. It’s basically a 4 hour crash course. Now, we have to get out there and practice what we learned! That’s the time consuming, but fun part. I just want to learn how to capture some great action shots of Madelyn since she is so active and find creative ways to do it. Now, I’m finding that there is SO much more to photography than I could have ever imagined. It is so involved. Can’t wait to wrap my head around it and dig my heals into action!

After an early dinner at Café Rio, across the street from UNLV, we stopped at In-N-Our burger so that I could indulge on a vanilla shake. Of course, I wasn’t still hungry, but I’m pregnant and I want what I want (or what the baby insists that I have)! Period.

I ordered and when Yong came out of the bathroom a guy came up to her and said, “you know you just used the men’s restroom?”. Our first thoughts are ‘why are you watching us THAT closely?’. She corrected him and told him that she went into the door on the right, which was the women’s. He said “Oh…” and went back to his table, which was on the other side of the place, far from us and the restrooms (again, why was he watching us?). As he walked away, we both thought and I think I said…”weirdo” and rolled my eyes. I got my shake and we walked to the student union building.

Ten minutes after arriving at the workshop, I realized that I had my camera, but NOT my purse! I figured I left it at In-N-Out and frantically darted out of the auditorium and RAN to In-N-Out. Did I mention that it was FREEZING outside and that I am PREGNANT and very OUT OF SHAPE, with NO real jacket?!? As I’m running, I am thinking I left it on the seat. The Weirdo totally took my purse! I mean, he was apparently watching us very closely, so it only made sense! If anyone would notice my purse on the seat, it would be HIM!  I ran faster and faster, reminding myself that every second counted. It’s not like an hour had passed and what was done, was done.  It had only been 15 minutes now. I could still catch him…pregnant or not.

I’m huffing and puffing as I jog into the In-N-Out parking lot. I see the bright-yellow-shirt-wearing Weirdo, standing outside the front door looking around…looking for ME!  He sees me and yells, “Slow down! I found your purse! The staff has it. Stop running…it’s not good for the baby! Come in and catch your breath. I was looking for you because I knew it was yours.” I can barely get the words “Thank you” out, not just because I was out of breath, but because I had my foot in my mouth!

Talk about judging a book by its cover. It’s more likely that the people you would least expect to do crazy, cruel, evil things do it without anyone noticing or expecting it from them. The angels that come before us are just that – angels. You have to humble yourself and sometimes look hard to recognize the angels God sets out to watch after us. I thanked him several times…sat down for bit to catch my breath…and watched him drive away in his taxi cab…thankful that I still had my wallet, ID, cards, money, car keys, phone…thought how he made a good, honest decision….while I felt guilty to have judged him. You live and learn.

Side note, for the record - we got to the workshop 45 minutes early! For those of you that know me, know that I’m never early. I run an average of 30 minutes late to everything. I even told Yong I would meet her at 2:30 and arrived at 2:28! I’m thrilled about TWO early arrivals today! Yes, I’m tooting my horn!

daddy’s little girl

Madelyn is starting to ask for Daddy more and more.  Throughout the day she will ask, “Where Dada?” and look all over the house for him. She doesn’t quite understand the concept that he is working. I look forward to Jose coming home every day, not only because he’s my wonderful hubby, but because it is the best part of my day to watch them play as soon as he walks in the door. Dinner may be hot and ready to eat. Normally, as a mother and wife you want the family to sit down as soon as it’s ready to have a HOT meal.  In these moments, life pauses and nothing else matters.  What’s most important is watching them interact. Madelyn’s face lights up the minute Jose walks in the door. It’s like she has been waiting ALL DAY for Daddy to come home and rough house with her. Anything from picking her up and wrestling her to the ground, hopping around with her on his shoulders like a frog, yelling “ribbit, ribbit…”, chasing her around the house crawling on his hands & knees or simply smothering her in slobbery kisses! Whatever it is, she just loves her father so much. I admire him for the attention he gives her and the energy he exhausts after a long day at work…nothing will keep him from hyping her up just in time for bed.

His love for her never runs out.

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my sleeping beauty

I love watching my daughter sleep. She dreams. She rests. She recharges. She doesn’t have a worry in the world. A child’s innocence is so delicate. I love that she finds so much warmth and security in my arms and she knows that I will put her to sleep in a safe place…with her bear, of course! It’s so nice that she is at the age where I can put her in her crib, cover her, give her her bear and she will say “night, night…I love…” and go right to sleep. She trusts us, as her parents.

The love I have for my daughter is indescribable. beyond words. intense.  incredible. immeasurable. significant. unfathomable. immense. unique. infinite.  

a love only a mother can understand.

Splish Splash!

 

Bath time was so much fun last night!

 

         

Not even sure what was making her laugh, she was just laughing…

it was great!

    

Before she gets out of the bath,

she’s always gotta put a letter in her mouth!

 

 

We bathed her earlier than usual, at 8:00, instead of our usual 8:30 or later. She seemed much happier and playful.  Not that she’s not usually happy in the bath, but if she is really tired, then she can be especially irritable.

After her bath we brought her downstairs to play and she drank her milk. She went to sleep at 9:30pm.  Eventually we want her bedtime to be 9:00, but 9:30 is much better than 10:30 or later. 

loves her mama

Tonight, I had a special moment with my daughter. We were on the couch and Madelyn was sitting on my lap facing me. She lifted my glasses above my eyes, placed them on my head and put both hands on my face, as if she was admiring me. She repeated this several times. She was so gentle. She kept smiling at me, rubbing her hands on my face and said “soft” a couple times. She then put a hand on each cheek and turned my head to my right (almost abruptly), so the left side of my face was facing her, and she gave me a great big kiss on my cheek! It was so intentional. Then she turned my head back to face her and continued looking at me for a minute, giving me some sweet smiles. She ended our special moment with a heart felt squeeze.

Madi loves her mama, I say this proudly. I can tell that she understands what love is. Of course, only to a certain extent, but enough to know that she loves others and she knows we love her. Madi’s heart is so pure and innocent. She is so compassionate and loving. She is so gentle and caring. I’m sure she is going to be an amazing big sister.

Moments like these are the best thing a mother could ask for. They will never be forgotten.

it’s not just me

I found out that Blogger editing has been having some problems and glitches and that’s why I’ve been getting so frustrated.  It’s been my new “project” every night after Madi goes to bed to figure out what the heck is wrong with my blog.  I was one of the people their glitches were messing with! I feel better now.  I thought I was just not smart enough for my own good and couldn’t even post a darn photo or have less than 10 spaces between a paragraph.

Ahhh…now I can sleep.

First Picture Post using Writer

I am loving how easy it is to post pictures!

(compared to using Blogger editing)

Blogging using Windows Live Writer

Gerry, a guy that replied to one of my questions in the Blogger Help Forum, told me about Windows Live Writer to edit/blog. I am testing it out! So far I really like it! Now, my blogging world will be made easier….I hope.

Thank you Gerry!

20 Months Miss Madelyn

Madelyn turned 20 months on January 4th. I don't know how times flies by, but I feel like we just celebrated her first birthday. Not a day goes by where she doesn't do something new, say something new or learn something new and I think to myself, I should record that or make note. So, let me search deep into my brain and try to remember the last 240 days...I haven't written a single thing down. I always think I will remember or "get to it later" and never do. Now, if I would have kept up on blogging, I would have a fun, photo filled, online memory of our daily lives (that's why I am starting now (catching up first).

 

Here are some recent Madi Memories:

Tells us when she has a booger:

About 2 months ago (at 20 months old) she started telling us when she has a booger in her nose. Jose was putting her to bed - holding her, lights off - and she said, "boogey, boogey!". I came to the rescue with the lovely booger sucker (I heard her on the monitor) and got it out and she was good to go...went right to sleep.

 

No more singing:

Christmas Eve we stayed at my parents house and my mom turned on the radio and started dancing and singing with Madi. Everytime my mom started to sing Madi would put her hand over my mom's mouth and say "no more!" She did that several times and it was hilarious! (almost 20 mos. old)

 

Froggie:

Around New Year's Jose, my mom and I were all talking and hanging out in the living room. All the sudden Madi comes in the room saying "F&#@!" several times and then says "F&#@ It!". We were in shock, looking at each other wondering where she learned that or what she was saying. Eventually, we figured out that she was saying FROG and FROGGIE. She wanted Jose to put her on his shoulders and take her for a ride, hopping along like a frog saying "ribbit". Haha! (20 months old.) She still says the F word for Frog and now Fork also.

 

Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star:

Last Night (Thurs, Jan 27) I was putting her to bed. I was singing to her in her room and she started trying to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. She said, "tink tink...dar...up above...dia (diamond)...and she opens and closes her hand(s). It is so cute. Today, after she woke up from her nap and was playing in her crib, I can hear her singing it again.

 

Madi's Language at 20 Months (not in any order):

 

Madelyn will pretty much repeat (or attempt) anything you say or ask her to say.

 

There is a large number of words she will say consistantly, so I included what I could think of below:

 

I put an * by the words I know she was saying at 14 months (give or take).

 

Hello (pronounced Ellooooo)

*Hi (usually with a wave)

*Uh Oh

Oh no!

Bear (shows us the bears in her crib every morning)

Blanket (banke)

Sleep

Diaper

Air

*Up

*Down

*Up and down (Up a da)

Change (diaper)

Back (put back)

Mess

Booger (boogey)

I love you (she says "I loooove...")

*Bye-bye

Kiss

*Mommy (mama)

*Daddy (da dye)

*Grandma (ma ma, with a pause compared to mama)

Abuela (Ab e lalalalala, being silly)

*Grandpa (ampa)

Uncle

Aspen (Apen)

Mishki (Micky)

Dog

*Puppy

Pup

Woof (ooof oof)

*Cat (cat or ny ny ny)

Pig

Mickey Mouse (Mouse)

Donald Duck (Duck)

Dora (Dory)

Handy Manny (An Man)
Sponge Bob (Bob Bob)

*Princess (usually referring to "Enchanted")

Alice (A lalala)

Letters (le le, referring to Letter Factory)

Nemo (elmo)

Grinch (ginch)

Nite Nite (ny ny)

Door (dooooo)

Potty (po-ee)

*Food (num num)

Comida (num num)

Clean (cip)

Spill (pill)

Snack (Nnnnack)

Butt

Bath Time (Ba time)

Soft (sof)

Lotion (ocean)

Hot

Cold

Vavava (shivers)

*More (Mo - ee)

Mas

*Please (peas)

Thank You (Tay coo)

*Yes (si)

*No

No more (no mo ee)

*All done (a dye)

Happy

Sad

*Clap

Jump

Stomp

Stop

Go

Play

Sit

Hand (haa)

Baby

Cry

Help

*Bib (biby)

Strawberry (ta berr)

Chicken

*Yogurt (o gurt)

Banana (na na)

Soup

Oranges

Peach (poach)

Pear

Cheese

Turkey (chicken)

Milk

Juice

Water (ammm, for agua)

Pancakes (pacay)

Potato

Bread

Eggs

Oatmeal (oatmeat)

Crackers (cok or coker)

Cookie (cook)

Ice Cream

Phone

Push

Outside (ou sy)

Wait

Mail

Car

Scared (ecare)

Shaking (she says sakin, which she also says when she is scared of something)

Eye(s)

Nose (no)

Mouth

Teeth (tee)

Cheek

Ear(s) (air)

Hair (air)

Head (ed)

Shoulder(s) (soul)

Toes

Hand(s) (hah)

Arm(s)

Bow

Close (cose)

Open (opit)

On

Off

Out

Bless You (bess you)

Sorry (sowy)

Light

Car

Carpet (cup it)

Hat

Fix (sick)

Zip

One (will count on her own)

Two (will count on her own)

3-10 will repeat

She will repeat colors & shapes and I think she knows them, but won't say them on her own.

She knows the SOUNDS of the whole alphabet (from Leap Frog Letter Factory).  I will say "The A says..." and she will say the sound it makes.

 

I will write more about the “latest” of Miss Madi…I’m just happy I got this much done and I’m figuring out a better way to blog and edit!

a blog of a goal

"Blog" has been in the back of my mind for a long time...well, since my last post almost a year ago. I've been wanting to nurture my blog for so long and me not doing anything with it is driving me nuts. The primary reason I want to be consistent with blogging is for memories, a record, something to look back on. I've always enjoyed reading old journal entries or looking at old letters. It's just so real. I also need an outlet to write, share, express whatever is on my mind or whatever I'm experiencing. This day and age I doubt that I will ever journal in a notebook again. The problem with me jumping on board with blogging again (not that I was ever much of a blogger before) is that I feel like I have missed out on so many opportunities. If I would have stayed consistent, I would have made so many posts and included some wonderful moments. But I figure, there's no sense in crying over spilled milk. I've been extremely busy. I'm about to be even busier, but if I have good time management I think I can do it! I do not plan to blog every day, but at least a few times a month would be awesome and pretty serious, in my opinion. I think my next several entries will end up being "catch up" entries to make myself feel better. Here's the thing...I'm about to dive into the world of blogging, with TWO FEET this time, and most of my posts will be about the baby I'm expecting and the entire process (baby belly, labor, new addition to the family, etc.) and I can't help but feel bad that I didn't do that with Madelyn. Bear with me, as my next entries will be from the "past" to recap the last year.

just the girls

Last night was our first night without jose being home. He is in tampa for a Driver's Edge program. It was very hard to take him to the airport yesterday morning, however, I am surprised I wasn't a complete mess. I got teary eyed on the way to the airport when we prayed together, but at the airport I think I realized that the next few days I have to step up to the plate and act as a single mother and take care of my daughter with not even 5 minutes of help - there's no time for boo hoo's & crying for jose to not go. I'm a mama now!

The only thing I could compare dropping off Jose at the airport to was when I was a complete emotional disaster in 2008 - pregnant. I was leaving on the morning flight and Jose was going to work and then flying out that nite. My hormones got the best of me and I started crying, a lot! I was such a wreck. I hugged Jose 1,000 times & proceeded to the dreaded check-in line. Jose called me and expressed how hard it was to see me like that. He had called his boss, parked the car and rescheduled his flight to leave with me! Of course, there was only ONE more seat available on the flight - just for my wonderful husband to support his hormone raging, red-eyed, tears of an ocean, hyperventilating, supporting a human in her belly - wife. I was so hysterical. It was, by far, ridiculous. Now having a daughter in the mix, I expected yesterday's drop off to be a real failure.

Last night I could not sleep too well and Jose called me numberous times not being able to sleep either. I associate jose being gone with our negative experiences of the past. Some of you many know the ins & outs of what the Nobles have endured previously. When I am without him, familiar anxious feelings of distress stir up inside of me reminding me of the times he only found trouble when we were apart. We've had a long, hard road, which I have had many, many a heartbreak from. However, our Lord has helped heal the horrid wounds of the past. God brought me to a safe, trusted place that I never knew existed....and would have never existed without Him. He brought us out of a deep, dark pit of hopelessness to a beautiful, uplifting place where His light continues to shine upon us to keep us from the depths we once knew. I suppose this is part of the healing. I am trusting God in this. Having Jose gone is more than "my husband is out of town". This is an emotional marathon for me. The last time we were apart from each other has nothing to make positive mention of (which was just over 4 years ago).

Praise our Lord for all He has done.

The nite: Last night we felt like little high school sweethearts talking on the phone late into the night. Jose couldn't sleep and neither could I. We talked until 11:30, which was 2:30 in the morn for Jose. He had to wake up at 5 for the program. I was just about to fall asleep until, Madi woke up! I nursed her back to sleep. But just 10 minutes after putting her back in her crib she started to cry again. I tried for a half hour to rock her back to sleep, but she didn't have it. So....back into mommy's bed. Nursed her and we fell asleep for a short time. Shortly after she was back in her crib. I think I went to sleep around 4. 6am my mom calls stating that online check-in (new thing) was a no-go. I had to get out of bed and make some calls and send some emails. So.....long story short, Jose and I are both like zombies today on a few hours of sleep. We aren't used to this anymore! With Madi, we usually try to get to bed at 10 or 11.

And they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder....

My little bedhead angel

Going into Madelyn's room and seeing her smiling face with her hair a disaster is the cutest thing.

Love my daughter

I am just so incredibly in love with my daughter. In love with motherhood. In love with watching her learn & grow. In love with the idea that I created a human being! Well, Jose kinda helped....and God was in the mix too! God brought Madelyn to our lives as such a surreal reality. I am still waiting to wake up from this miraculous, but undeserving dream. I close my eyes and all I see is this gift from God.... a beautiful, happy, glowing, adorable face that melts my heart - constantly. Motherhood is nothing short of rewarding & it is truly indescribable. I cannot get enough of my daughter. I love the way she clings to me when she is scared. I love the way she plays with my hair while she nurses. I love when my laugh makes her crack up hysterically. I love when she plays peek-a-boo. I love to see how happy she gets when she sees her daddy come home. I love hearing her giggle & talk. I love watching her sleep. I love that she smiles when I sing to her. I love when she says mama. I love rubbing her back or playing with her hair. I love waking up to hearing her playing in her crib. I love my daughter with all of me. She makes my life....life. She brings me to life.

Angel Care

Madelyn stopped breathing in the middle of the night! I think it was last Thursday. Quick recap on how it went down...

We have an audio monitor, but ours has an extra component. There is a sensor pad that detects movement/breathing. It's the Graco Angel Care. If there is no movement/breathing for 15 seconds a warning beep sounds. If there is no movement/breathing for 5 seconds after that (total of 20 seconds) the alarm will sound. Well, the warning beep sounded once and the alarm didn't come on, so we disregarded it. About a minute later the warning beep sounded again and alarm didn't come on either. Jose checked on her and she was fine. Several minutes later the warning beep sounded and I looked at the monitor and the pendulum wasn't going back and forth (showing movement) and 5 seconds later the alarm sounded. The real deal! We ran to her room, alarm blaring in our ears! As I reached in her crib and touched her back to feel her breathing the alarm was still sounding. After several seconds she started moving. The sound of the alarm and me touching her back probably startled her. We are pretty sure she stopped breathing. However, she was on her belly, with her knees underneath her, lying in the corner. There's a chance that her belly/chest wasn't touching the mattress so no movement was detected. Either way, it was frightening! Thank God our little angel is okay.

We LOVE our monitor! And it's not about being overly paranoid. Many families have even discovered that their baby has sleep apnea or a breathing disorder by having this monitor. Jose has sleep apnea and Madi has nasal issues, so this calms our hearts. We don't feel the need to go to her room 10 times a night to see if she is breathing. SIDS occurs when a baby stops breathing for too long and, therefore, is not revivable. Many families will spend $100 - 300 on a monitor system anyway. It's not like this one is so much more expensive, it was only $140. But I do not care how expensive it is, I would have bought it regardless.

I remember that the alarm went off once when she was in her bassinette. She must have been a few months old?

I'm so thankful for the things God has put in our path to protect our little girl and put us at ease.

Sigh. Smile.

9 Month Miss Madi

Today Little Miss Madi is 9 months old!

I glanced at my previous entry entitled "hello ambition" and I just looked away.
My laptop crashed and my desktop was slower than molasses, but here I am with a brand new computer!

Throughout each day thoughts come to mind, mostly about my daughter, about how much she is growing up, the new things she is doing, how I feel about being a mother... I feel the need to write these down, include them in my blog, something. I never do it. Someday I know I will want to look back at my blog or calendar and just remember when... Never should these memories or day-to-day thoughts be lost. I've decided I am going to write. Just write. Whenever. Whatever. However.

____________________________________

These past 9 months have gone by fast, but it still feels like 9 months, if that makes sense. Madi does something new everyday.

MADI TIDBITS:

Yesterday, I was sitting on the couch and Madi was on the floor with her stuffed animal - Puppy - no real name yet. I simply said to her "Kiss the puppy!". She picked up Puppy and kissed him and put him back on the floor. I said it again and she did the same thing! It was too precious!

Yesterday, my mom was changing Madi's diaper and she said quietly "Patty cake" (and didn't clap) and Madi started to clap. Madi just learned to clap recently. She hasn't mastered it, but it's a clap for sure.

She was playing by herself the other day and I caught her out of the corner of my eye saying "Yay!" and clapping.

Who's Bob??????? So often Madi will continuously say "bob?" "bob?" "bob?" "bob?" while crawling and looking around. No, she's not trying to say boob - we don't teach her that word! We ask her, "who is Bob?", "Bob is not here". It's actually really funny. We are convinced she has a friend named Bob and she searches for him all the time. "Bob" is distinctly different from when she says "Bop".

On Tuesday, she stood unassisted for 14 seconds! SpongeBob made that happen.

3 weeks ago madi started teething. Her two bottom teeth came in together. She now has the cutest little teeth. Typical teether - whiney, woke up every night, cried frequently in the middle of the night, needy, clingy.

Madi and Teah played together at her house yesterday. They are too cute togeher - same size, body frame, hair color & length, 2 teeth on bottom, chunky legs, pot belly. Little bopsie twins! 8 days apart.

I love when Madi will lay down completely still while either Jose or I give her kisses all over her face. This is one of the few times she is this calm. She loves when we give her kisses!

Madi knows what HER chair is. Whenever she is in her room and we say, "where's your chair?", "go to your chair", she goes right to it.

At 8 months - my mom and madi were playing in madi's room - Madi would stand up holding onto her chair, pick up her little lambie and throw it on the floor. My mom would pick lambie up and put it in the chair. Madi would throw lambie on the floor again. This went on for a while - my mom said at least 20 times. One time madi threw lambie on the floor and my mom didn't pick it up. She looked at my mom like "uh....aren't you gonna pick up lambie?!?! (concerned look). Madi then picked the lambie up off the FLOOR and put it on the chair!!!

Madi could be on a mission to get across the room or to get something she so needs, but (when she is hungry or due to eat) I say "Milk? You want milk? (and signing milk)" she makes a u-turn and crawls so fast directly to me, climbs on me and searches for the ever-so-good-leche. It is the funniest thing!

Lately, Madi has been tilting her head sideways in her high chair laughing to play with me. I do the same back to her.

I LOVE hearing her coo in her crib and play independently. Love it!

The best part of the day is when Madi sees daddy come home after work. He always says "Madelyn?!?!" and she looks around to find him and greets him with the biggest smile - her face just lights up! It is so precious.

Words & Phrases we know that she understands:

mommy
daddy
all done
milk
water/agua
bath time
where's cat
cat
jump
kiss the puppy
puppy
kisses!
bye-bye
come here
where are you going?
do you want food?
where's daddy?
daddy's home!
look!
no-no!
no!



Baby schedule right now (always subject to a spontaneous change) -
Wakes up anytime between 6:30 and 7:30am.
I let her play and coo in her crib for a while (maybe 30 mins), until she starts to whine or cry.
Diaper change.
Nurse her in my bed (likes to nurse lying down since she was 3 mos)
I put her in her play pen while I eat breakfast and then work, check voicemail, do dishes, laundry, whatever I can and quickly. When she starts fussing or crying - times up.
Play Time! Madi crawls all over the house and I chase her. She likes to climb over the bottom or her high chair. She loves to stand holding onto her jumper. She stands up to t.v. and watches (that can't be good for her eyes), Madi just discovered the window by the front door and likes stand and look outside, she climbs in her car seat - stands in it and I rock her, climbs up the steps, tries to break out vertical blinds by back door, takes all the books, photo books, magazines off end table and throws them on the floor, watch a little Dora/Spongebob/Agent Oso/FreshBeat Band/Go Diego Go/Backyardagains (whatever is on). Notice I haven't mentioned ONE of her toys yet???!!!??? No need to buy toys.
First rubbing of the eyes comes and we are off to bed.
Diaper change.
Nurse in my bed.
Down for a nap (awake) usually at 9:30 or 10:30am, depending on what time she woke up.
Wakes up an hour & a half to two hours later.
Diaper Change.
Lunch (veggie earth's best and 1/2 fruit, water in sippy cup)
Usually nurse her within the hour after she eats lunch (normally on couch downstairs)
Play Time! (same as above) plus time in jumper, swing, play pen, etc so I can get work done.
Rubbing eyes =
Diaper change.
Nurse in my bed.
Down for nap again. Afternoon nap is usually around 2:30 or 3:00pm (same as above). Usually at least 2 hours. Sometimes she sleeps 3 or more - that's a sweet treat!!!
Wakes up anywhere between 4 and 5:30pm.
Diaper change.
Dinner (veggies and the rest of her fruit from lunch, water)
*Daddy usually comes home in the middle of lunch (tues & thurs) or dinner (mon, wed, fri).
Usually nurse her within the hour after she eats dinner (normally on couch downstairs)
Play time!
Bath time! (every other night)
Story time!
Nurse (in my bed or in her room)
Mommy and daddy kiss her goodnight, say a prayer/thank God, give her stuffed animals a kiss and she kisses them, say NiteNite Time, turn on humidifier, music, mobile, monitor and lights out. Love you!
Down to bed in crib around 8:30.
Sometimes wakes up in middle of night and I nurse her in my bed.
Once she's asleep, I either work until 11 or relax with Jose if I am caught up with work.

Talk about a FULL TIME JOB! Lots of work. I don't understand how some people don't have some sort of a routine. You have to or you'll go crazy! Babies like routine too.

(Ahhh! I feel better. I wrote down our current detailed schedule.)

CAT

On a mission....
Seriously, get this girl away from me!

Bring it on!

Her tail, yes, I WILL get it!

Look little girl, you better back off!

As a matter of heart

This is my first official blog. Yep, I am a new blogger! It only took me forever & a day to take the plunge. There have been so many times I have had the need to rant about something or had an epiphany, but I just never made the time to write about it....just let it well up inside me. Yeah, that's healthy!

So, that leads me to the question -
If you feel it in your heart to do something, but never do it, is it TRULY in your heart?

I am so incredibly behind on the tasks in life that it is absolutely ridiculous. Things are pressing on my heart & mean so much to me, but I always fall into the excuse that I don't have time to get to them. So, if it's truly in my heart to do it, wouldn't I make time? Which has me evaluating the condition of my heart & priorities.

I cannot begin to express how behind I am on things I consider to be a matter of HEART. To name a few: I never sent out Madelyn's birth announcements, I do not even have a picture of Madi hanging in my house (which takes less than 2 minutes to do), as much as I love the pictures my dad painted for Madi's room, they still remain on the floor. I could go on and on. I understand that most everyone has a to-do list and most everyone has things of higher priority that need to get done, but I find myself in a non-excusable place. I ask myself why? Why do I have things to do so important to me, but never do them?

It all starts with procrastination (Satan's best weapon). If you begin to procrastinate the slightest bit on one thing important to do, it doesn't take long before the next important tasks slips in. Now, you have two Matters of Heart waiting to be tackled - putting them both off until next week, but "next week I will get to them for sure!" But next week you get sick, too sick to get anything done - only putting you behind more, in addition to daily chores around the house & your job.
*Daily chores are "static", if you will. They are constant and never fail to leave that fuzzy noise in your ear reminding you of their annoying existence.

Now, in addition to getting done what is "on schedule" to do, catch-up comes into play. Throw a baby into the mix & you got yourself a crazy, unorganized mess of things to do, backed up maybe years, many of which remain Matters of Heart. As time goes on with these heartfelt to-do's hanging out in the sidelines, life happens. And life continues to happen. Then you get to a place where I find myself now, wondering where all the time went and asking why I never hung up my dad's precious paintings in Madi's room for the finishing touch?

Procrastination brings you to the state of being overwhelmed. There are so many things to do that I don't know where to start. Others would recommend doing a little bit at a time, but by the time I get a small window of opportunity I either have something unexpected that arises or I just want to enjoy that moment of peace and do NOTHING. My mind often tricks me into thinking it is best to not start a project unless you have time to finish it right then and there! So, if something will take me 4 hours to do and I don't have 4 straight hours to do it, then it goes on the back burner...get to it when I do have 4 hours because someday I will, right!?!?

So, here I sit writing about the things I need to do, while baby sleeps, instead of just doing them.
Where is the logic?

Bottom Line: I am horrible at TIME MANAGEMENT. How can I be so much like my mother, who is the queen of great time management and not get any of that great quality?

And YES, as a matter of heart, I do believe that you can still TRULY feel something in your heart to get done, although you haven't gotten it done in ages. It is not a question of the condition of your heart, it is a question of your time management skills.
Procrastination is the yellow brick road to being overwhelmed.

Ok, baby is awake! What did I get done while she slept???
I wrote my first blog!!!!!!!!

LABOR & DELIVERY - Our Story

First, I would like to say that regardless of how bad labor was and what I endured, the rewards of having a baby far outweigh the pain and difficulties of labor. I would do it again and again for the beautiful gift of a child. God has richly blessed us. By the grace of God we were able to conceive (in His time) and now our precious little one is here.



I also feel so blessed to have the support I had. First of all, Jose was amazing through it all. Words cannot express what a wonderful husband, labor coach, friend, encourager and listener he was. He was there for me in every way someone can be there for someone. He never faltered. He never complained. He never left my side. He was absolutely incredible and I could NOT have done it without him! We connected and breathed together at every contraction. Jose's eyes were my focal point. I looked into the depth of his eyes at every contraction as he coached me in breathing, encouraged me and focused only on me. After each contraction he rewarded me with ice chips. Ice never tasted so good!!!



I was also blessed with having so many loving family and friends around. My parents and my brother were there the entire time helping me, encouraging me and praying for me. My Mom was also coaching me through labor & delivery and offered great words of support. Allie came soon after Madelyn was born and helped with my recovery. She was very encouraging as well.



I know God would not give me more than I could handle and I reminded myself of that the entire time. To calm myself, I repeated the verse "Be still and know that I am God". I feel that God gave me a great support system to get me through the 17 hours of labor. Labor is as emotionally exhausting as it is physically exhausting. Without words of encouragement and support, it would have been even more draining and that much harder.



1 - To The Hospital



Sunday, May 3, Jose and I had a beautiful day! After church, we had brunch with my parents and Jeff & Gina at Green Valley Ranch Buffet, of course! After the buffet Jose and I decided to spend the afternoon together, just the two of us. We went to Town Square for several hours. We watched the kids play on the playground for a long time and just couldn't get enough of watching them play. We saw the movie, "Earth" and then enjoyed coffee while sitting in the shade visiting with other families. There was a calmness about us all day. It was almost like we knew that later that night we would go to the hospital. During the day I had been spotting a little, but nothing we were concerned about. Early evening spotting got a little heavier and we called the hospital and they said to only go in if 1) my water breaks, 2) contractions are consistent or 3) very heavy bleeding (like a period). In the evening - contractions started, but never became completely consistent. Some contractions were 5 minutes apart and others were 20 minutes apart. Late in the night (maybe around midnight or 1), after we had attempted to go to bed, very heavy bleeding started. We knew it was time. We immediately got our things together and headed for the hospital. I remember thinking that they would admit me - I knew inside that this was it! We arrived at the hospital at 1:45am (Monday morning, May 4).



2 - Potocin & Pain Medication



I was admitted around 3:00am. For some reason, I had a fever. Dilated to 1cm, they started me on potocin immediately. Around 6:30am I was dilated at 2-3cm. My contractions were very consistent (about 2 minutes apart) and rather strong. The nurse came in at 6:30am and said that the anesthesiologist would be in a c-section from 7:30 to 8:30 and again from 10 - 11:00. I had the choice of getting an epidural right away before his 7:30 c-section or I would have to wait until 9:00 or so. Waiting until 9:00 - who knows how much more pain I would be in or what I would be dilated to... however, they do not recommend getting an epidural at 2cm dilation because it is so early and could slow labor down. The nurse recommended a pain med called Demerol to take the edge off. Since my contractions were so strong already and very consistent I agreed to take the pain med. I was initially against taking the pain medication because it makes mom a little loopy and can affect the baby a little, making her tired, but drugs talk when you're in pain. The Demerol did take the edge off, although I could still feel the contractions the same. I dozed off between each contraction.



3 - My Water Broke



At 4 cm, in the middle of a contraction, my water broke. It was a neat feeling. All of a sudden "pop" and..... yeah, "my water just broke!". This speeds up labor a little. I was excited that my water broke on its own and they didn't have to break it for me.



4 - Epidural # 1



At 4cm, around 9:30am, I received my first epidural. I think I did a great job, with Jose's help of course, getting the epidural. I remained calm and rested in Jose's arms, as he helped me to breathe properly and stay relaxed. During the epidural, the doctor said that it was not an issue but he did puncture a vessel when he put the needle in. He said he got out all the blood and pulled the catheter out a little and said it should be fine. The epidural made my legs tingle and took the feelings of the contractions away (at least in my abdomen). I could still move my legs and feel them, to a certain degree. I started getting very strong contractions in my posterior body - my butt, lower buttocks and upper hamstrings. It was very, very painful. The anesthesiologist came in and tried to alleviate the pain by taking the catheter out 1cm. This did not help at all. So.....he decided to redo the epidural.



5 - Epidural # 2



Dilated at 6cm, doctor removed the catheter from the first epidural to administer another one. First, he gave me a spinal block, which numbs your lower body completely and immediately. That worked and I loved that! Because the spinal block only lasts for 1 - 2 hours, he gave me the epidural to help when the spinal would wear off. The doctor said that he found a great space in my spine and sounded confident with the second epidural. He put the catheter in and then said, "Oh, shit! I am such an idiot! I can't believe I just did that!". I am holding as still as I can and Jose, my Mom and Jon all looked at the doctor frantically wondering what he just did. Doctor said, "I don't know why I did this, but I just took the catheter out. I have never done that before, so I don't know why I did that. I just pulled it right out. I will have to do it again." Uh....okay.....we can't believe you did that either!



6 - Epidural # 3



The anesthesiologist gave me a third epidural. I am a pro at this now. Third time's a charm - we hope! The next hour and a half was fine because the spinal block was in effect. Once that wore off, we realized the epidural had only worked half way. My right leg was very numb and my left leg was only a little tingly. The nurse tried moving me from side to side to try to get the epidural to flow into other areas of my spine. The doctor tried giving me injections of meds to help or boosts of the epidural (bolus), but nothing helped. By now, I was 8 or 9 cm and it was too close to the end to get another epidural....not that I was in favor of a FOURTH epidural anyway.



7 - Push Time



Finally, I was dilated 10cm. I still had a fever. The baby was locked and loaded! And I WANTED to push so bad!!! I could only have 2 people in the delivery room, so Jose and my mom were there helping me to push. They say that I pushed for an hour and a half or so. Although I could feel the contractions with a vengeance, it did feel good to push! Initially, I had to wait to push until the doctor arrived (or was closer), which was an absolutely awful feeling & horribly uncomfortable! Toward the end of pushing, they had me hold off on pushing again during every other contraction because my blood pressure was rising and the baby's heart rate was dropping. I was all about reassurance during the entire process. When I was told NOT to push, I asked the nurses to remind me that the baby will not come out without me pushing - because it felt like she was just going to slip out of me....the pressure was so strong! It also helped to hear what progress I was making. Since I could pretty much feel everything, I felt the episiotomy! I knew Dr. made three snips! Ewwwww! At the end, the doctor was going to use the vacuum to assist the baby in coming out, but didn't end up needing to, which we were happy about. So, after lots of breathing and pushing, Madelyn was born at 7:13pm, weighing 6 lbs, 3 oz. and was measured at 20 1/2". Since I had a fever, Madi was born with a high fever. The nurses spent extra time with her and took care of her fever immediately. Thank God she was healthy as can be and her fever went down soon after she was born.



8 - Episiotomy



While the nurses were taking care of baby, the doctor takes care of me. The lovely placenta was delivered (called the second delivery) and since he did an episiotomy he needed to put me back together. Normally, I think this takes about 10-15 minutes. It took him a good 25 minutes to stitch me up. I FELT EVERYTHING! I was screaming bloody murder! I guess Dr. assumed that my epidural was working sufficiently enough and did not give me a pelvic shot to numb me. Once he realized I was feeling EVERYTHING, he was already too far to stop and just tried to finish as soon as he could.



9 - The Aftermath



After Madelyn was born, they kept me on potocin to help my uterus contract back down to its normal size. Jose, my parents, Jon, Allie and Jeff were in the room meeting Madelyn. They were having precious moments with her and admiring her. It was at this time that agonizing back pain started in my low back. On a pain scale of 1-10, the pain was 10+. A very simple movement would send excruciating pain through my body. It was horrible that not only could I not spend time with my family and seeing the baby, but I was screaming because of the pain. This probably put a damper on the "moment" with Madi. The pain was strange because it would come and go every couple minutes. I think I was feeling the pain when my uterus would contract. An anesthesiologist was supposed to come in to evaluate me and never came. The nurses had no idea why I was experiencing such bad back pain. The only explanation I got was that it was probably due to so many epidurals. My right leg stayed numb for a good 14-16 hours after delivery. I had a horrible time trying to urinate because I couldn't feel parts of my right side. I still had a very high fever. Eventually, they gave me meds to reduce my fever and they gave me Demerol to help reduce the back pain. It did help. I had discomfort over the next 24 hours and then all back pain was gone! :o)



10 - A Bit Emotional???



My labor process was not easy, but I don't recall that it is supposed to be easy. It was so painful, draining and more difficult than I thought it would be. I was actually very upset with the way things turned out. In the end, once my baby girl was born and I was experiencing excruciating back pain I began to get very emotional. I felt that I was supposed to be bonding with my baby, admiring her, nursing her and loving her. I couldn't because I barely knew where I was. I felt like I was going to black out at any moment. I had no strength. I was crying hysterically because I was in so much pain. There were moments when I thought I was going to die. I remember saying, "It is not supposed to be like this! This is not right! Why, why is God allowing this to happen to me?!?! Is God punishing me?!?! I don't want to die! I'm a horrible mother - I can't even hold my baby and I can't nurse her!" I was a wreck. Once my fever went down and the pain med kicked in, I became more coherent. I started to feel better, especially when I finally had my first moment with Madelyn.



Now that I am back to normal, I feel horrible for the things I said and felt in the hospital. I anticipated that I would have serious postpartum depression, but I am happy to say that I am doing great! With each passing day, the memory of my labor and delivery slips a little further from my mind. In the end, I would go through this again and again to have the wonderful reward of a child. Jose and I are hoping to having another baby one day - only time will tell.



God did not punish me with my experience. Now, I see that God did not give me more than I could handle - I got through it. He gave me strength I never knew I had. He provided me with amazing family and friends to help me. I had all the support I needed to get through labor. In the end I am recovering and I am emotionally stable. I am so very thankful for this wonderful bundle of joy we call Madelyn Grace. This experience only made me stronger and I am actually happy that I had to work so hard to have this baby and it didn't come too easy. God knows I would be better off this way in the long run. By the grace of God, Madelyn Grace was born. God is faithful. Praise the Lord. :o)